I dare you to be…lazy!

If you’re a people-pleaser, over-doer or busy-a-holic, this challenge will be HARD but oh so important

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I'm Selina Barker, Career and Life Design Coach, author and podcaster. I've been coaching and guiding people to create lives and careers they love for the past seventeen years. And now... I can't wait to help YOU!



I have a challenge for you.

It’s a challenge that, if you’re a people-pleaser, over-doer or busy-a-holic, will make your toes curl (but even more reason to do it if that is the case).

Are you ready for it?

I dare you to be LAZY.

For an hour, an afternoon or maybe a whole day.

Try and be as lazy as you possibly can be.

I set this challenge to a Club You member this week in our monthly workshop.

The workshop was on BOUNDARIES and in particular how to use boundaries to protect our time. Something that a lot of us can really struggle with, because many of us have been raised to believe that to be a good person, we must look after the needs of others, usually ignoring our own needs in the process. Particularly if you are a woman, a parent or work in a caring profession (and if you’re all three then 🤯).

This deep-rooted belief has us believe that being of service to those we love, keeping a tidy home, making sure everyone else is OK, should be all the fulfilment we need in life. That to be too focused on our own needs is somehow selfish 🙄

And spend time resting and not ticking things off our to-do list 24/7 is…LAZY.

And so when it comes to making time for ourselves and laying down firm and clear boundaries to protect that time, surprise surprise, many of us seem to resist it.

I witness this resistance come up time and time again, with my clients and Club You members.

‘I worry people will think I’m selfish’

‘I’m afraid that if I say no, people will think I’m unreasonable’

‘My mother never used to stop – she was always busy. I feel I should do the same or I’m a bad mother’

‘I feel guilty about making time for me and taking time to rest when there is so much to do in the house. It feels lazy’

And so when this last one came up in our Boundaries workshop this week, I said to the gorgeous Club You member that was feeling the guilt: ‘I dare you to be lazy’

Because here is the thing: the people that worry about being lazy, selfish or unreasonable are always the LEAST lazy, selfish or unreasonable people. People who actually ARE selfish, unreasonable or lazy are never worrying that they are.

So, if you ever worry that making time for you – to rest, do what you want or do absolutely nothing – is selfish or lazy, then this challenge is FOR YOU.

I dare you to have a go at being as lazy as you can be.

Try it for an hour, an afternoon or a whole day.

What would that look like to you?

  • Having an unscheduled lie-in…just because
  • Not being the first person to leap up to clear the table. In fact not being the person who clears it up at all for once 😱
  • Ignoring your to-do list for half a day and spending time doing the things you want to do instead.
  • Seeing other people busy-ing around and NOT leaping up to join them 😳

If the very idea of this feels uncomfortable, then that is very natural. That is why I am daring you to do it. Because it takes courage to be with that discomfort.

But if you have fun with it. If you get your inner rebel into the game of it, then you can quickly find yourself enjoying the sweet rebellion of daring to be lazy. Not to mention the rewards of doing things that recharge your batteries and fill up your cup.

And if feelings of guilt or shame come up, don’t let that stop you. Instead get curious.
Where does that guilt about making time for me and resting come from?

Is your fear of being considered lazy actually stopping you from getting the rest you need to feel fully alive and be able to thrive in life?

Is it stopping you from spending time doing the things you enjoy and living a life you love?

Because if it is, then it could be time to start daring to be ‘lazy’ a whole lot more and ultimately challenging your very understanding of what lazy actually is.

Because as long as we keep labelling rest and relaxation as ‘lazy’, we’ll keep running on empty and burning ourselves out. And I for one, am no longer up for that.

So let’s dare to be lazy together and watch what happens…!

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I'm Selina, Career and Life Design Coach and author of Burnt Out 

 I've been coaching and guiding people to create lives and careers they love for the past seventeen years. And now... I can't wait to help YOU!

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